All the Pandemonium and All the Madness
by backwards wonderland
Summary: Cat lives with her abusive aunt and uncle. Jade is about to transfer out of the city for her dying aunt. Both of them trying to find their way in the city that both builds and tears down their dreams./Bade, Cabbie/Candre, Jat friendship /Star Spangled Tori&Brain Squeezers AU, post Victori-Yes (Used to be named "The Life I Never Asked For")
1. Chapter 1

**The whole part about how Cat's aunt and uncle were mean to her in** _Star Spangled Tori_** caught my attention during the episode, as well as the fact that Jade never denied the fact about her Aunt Susan being sick during **_Brain Squeezers_**. And I figured since I hadn't updated in like, forever, that I may as well write another story, but one that centers on both Cat and Jade. This takes place a few months after** _Victori-Yes_**.****  
**

**Disclaimer: This is useless.**

**Chapter 1**

Cat sat in the corner of the room, her knees drawn up to her chest and her hands over her ears. _Maybe if I'm quiet they won't hear me_, she thought to herself, biting her lower lip suppress a whimper as a mouse ran over her foot. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, breathing shakily and trying to think of something, anything, that make this situation a little more bearable.

Through the thin ceiling she could hear the loud and angry voices of her Uncle Walter and Aunt Pearl screaming at each other. She was surprised that no one had called the cops yet, but then again, it wasn't like they lived in a particularly good part of L.A. either. She could count all the cases of solved murders in this area on one hand.

The petite red-haired girl whimpered, pulling her knees up to her chest and burying her face in her arms. Her phone was still upstairs, and she knew that even if she went up the stairs, _they_ would be up there, along with the crying baby and the half-starved one year would end the same way it always did-they would hit her and she would have to put makeup on to cover up the marks.

"Caterina!" a voice hollered down the stairs, startling her and making another whimper slip out. "Get upstairs right now, you know you're supposed to look after the baby when we leave the house!"

She scampered up the stairs quickly, almost crashing into her uncle at the top, only enraging him further. Her eyes widened as she stuttered out an apology, backing up against the door and looking frantically for an escape.

"You useless girl," he snapped, lifting his hand and slapping her with enough force to knock her to the floor. She cried out, but he acted like he didn't hear, only delivered a swift kick to her side and pulled her up by her blood-red hair. "When I call you, you come _right away_, and look where you're going, do you understand?"

Cat nodded quickly, swallowing the screams building up in her throat. Fighting only made it worse-she knew from experience and the numerous times she had ended up in the hospital because of various broken limbs with lousy excuses for how she got them.

Walter nodded in satisfaction, throwing her back onto the floor and crushing her hand under his boot as he walked into the kitchen. "Your aunt and I are going to be gone a few hours, so I expect you to take care of them," he barked, gesturing to the children huddled up in the corner of the room. "It's your job, Caterina, and you don't want to bring any of those friends of yours into this, do you?"

She shook her head, walking over to her cousins and pulling the five year old on her lap. "I'll look after them, Uncle Walter," she mumbled, trying to keep the tears at bay as she stared intently at the scared little boy sitting on her. "You can leave with Aunt Pearl now."

He grunted, shaking his head at her. "You'd better," he growled as he walked by them and out the door, slamming it shut as he stormed out of the small building that housed them.

The small teenager held her hand up to her face slowly, stretching out her fingers and nearly shrieking with the immense pain that seared through her hand. She bit down on her lower lip instead, the fingers of her other hand digging into her palm. It was definitely broken, but it wasn't like she could just leave the kids here. She knew what would happen if her uncle found out she left anyways.

"Cat," her cousin squeaked out, wrapping his little arms around her tightly and looking up at her with his huge doe eyes filled with tears. "why don't Mommy and Daddy love us? Is it because we're bad?"

"No Nathan," she said quietly, shaking her head slowly. "They love you. They just don't know how to tell you sometimes, that's all. How about I tell you a story and then you can go to bed?"

His small face brightened quickly and he bounded up to his feet, clasping her good hand in both of his. "Yes, yes, please," he begged excitedly, all traces of his tears evaporating instantly as he waited for his cousin to tell him a story.

She plastered a weary smile on her face, leading him across the hallway to the room next to the nursery. "Only one story though," she reminded him as he crawled into bed, the book of fairy-tales clutched in his arms.

"Alright," he replied, slipping underneath the covers and looking up at her with bright brown eyes. "Can you tell me the one where there were two kids that got lost in the forest because their step-mom sent them there?"

Cat flipped open the book, looking over to the little boy hesitantly when she found _Hansel and_ _Gretel _in the book of Grimm's fairy-tales that Jade had given her a number of months ago. "Are you sure you want me to read that?" she asked, looking down at the little boy. "I've been reading that to you every single night since I first read it to you."

Nathan lifted his shoulders, tilting his head to the side and leaning against his older cousin's side. "It reminds me of Mommy and Daddy," he told her, a sad little smile tugging at his lips. "And can you tell it the way Jade told it? With the evil forest and the witch in the oven?"

The redhead shuddered at the mention of the gory version of the story. "How about something happier?" she suggested, flipping through the pages until she found _Rapunzel_ in the book, showing him the pictures. "How about this one?"

"The one where the evil woman claws out the prince's eyes then throws him off the building?" he asked innocently, a confused look spreading across his face when Cat looked at him with a horrified expression on her face. "Or we could read the story where the birds-"

"No!" she exclaimed a little too loudly, waking up the baby in the nursery across the hallway. Her expression softened as she leaned forwards and pressed a kiss on the little boy's forehead. "How about I let you watch something tomorrow if you sleep well?"

He thought for a moment before nodding quickly, giving the girl a loud kiss on her cheek. "Okay!" he exclaimed happily as Cat turned off the light. "Night Kitty-Cat!"

"Night," she mumbled, watching the little boy for a few moments more before walking over to the room across the hallway and picking up the baby wailing her head off.

Immediately, the child stopped crying, looking up the girl, touching the tips of her red hair. He smiled a toothless little smile and giggled, oblivious to the cruel world that was beyond the cracking walls of the nursery.

Cat sighed, cradling little Tony in her arms as she looked outside at the dying lights lining the streets. "I'm sorry you have to grow up like this," she murmured, looking down into his big brown eyes. "You'll be learning to lie before you know what the truth is."

* * *

In a house not all too far away, a girl with purple streaks in her hair sat at the window, staring at a similar street with the lights fading. The sound of her father and stepmother downstairs yelling at each other while Jeremy cried should've bothered her, but it didn't.

Her phone buzzed again, like it had been doing all night with texts from her worried boyfriend. Normally, it would've been her making sure that he was alright if he hadn't been replying-but then again, tonight wasn't a normal night.

On a _normal_ day, she wouldn't be hanging around her father's house, she would fight back whenever her step-mother insulted the way she dressed, she would ignore her step-brother when he begged her to come out of the bathroom, a text from Beck wouldn't go unnoticed (especially now that they had gotten back together), and she would never even think about letting anyone touch her precious manuscripts, let alone be cutting them up along with the director's cut of _The Scissoring_ with the only pair of scissors she hadn't _broken _yet.

But needless to say, tonight wasn't just any other night. It was one of those nights that Jade would wake up in the morning to regret, wondering what had gotten into her the previous night. But right now, was just the calm before the storm.

The door opened and shut downstairs, and the sound of footsteps on the stairs came nearer and nearer to where the girl sat, dropping the scraps of a play one known as _Love and Dreams and Darkness All Collide _into the trash. A soft knock was delivered to the black-painted door, and for the first time that night, she spoke. "It's open."

She didn't have to turn around to know it was her Canadian boyfriend who wrapped his strong arms around her waist and pressed a light kiss to her left temple. "Hey," he murmured into her ear as his dark eyes took in all the damage his girlfriend had caused. "Babe, I didn't break-"

"It wasn't you," she interrupted, shifting slightly in his arms so they were face to face. Her lips curved into a tiny smile as she looked at his face for a fraction of a second before she frowned and sighed. "It was me."

Both of his eyebrows shot up his forehead and he shook his head slowly. "Wait, let me get this straight," he replied, looking at her in confusion. "You love this movie and scissors, about the same amount that you love me. And- wait, are those your plays?"

He reached into the garbage bin and pulled out the pieces, despite Jade's protests to just leave it alone. "Beck..." she started, stopping when he looked at her in surprise. Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip as she looked from his face to the paper. "Who cares about the stupid play anyways? It's not like I can ever even put in on at school. It was just taking up the space in the room!"

The boy sighed, running a hand through his hair and pulling the girl onto his lap. "Jade, what's going on?" he asked, pushing a strand of dark brown hair behind her ear. "And don't tell me that it's nothing, because I've been dating you for three years, so I _know_ when something's wrong. You won't answer your phone, your dad says you've been quiet-you've even cut up your favorite movie!"

She exhaled slowly, shaking her head slowly and getting off of his lap. "I don't want them anymore," she retorted shortly, walking over to her bed and pulling her knees up to her chest. "And who cares if I'm quiet, you're always telling me to be nice to him anyways."

Beck shook his head in disbelief, looking at her exasperated. "Jade, what's wrong?" he repeated, folding his arms across his chest and leaning against the wall. Something sticking out from one of the books on her shelf caught his eye and he walked over to it, pulling out what turned out to be a letter. "And what's this?"

Her large blue eyes widened and she lunged at him, attempting to snatch the piece of paper away from him. "Give it to me!" she snapped, glaring at him in frustration when he held it out of her reach and began to read it silently. "Beck, please..."

His mouth turned downwards into a frown as he looked from the letter to his girlfriend. "Why is there an application to Brookshire in your room?" he asked, raising an eyebrow and waiting for an explanation. "Because the last time I checked, that was in Rancho Mirage."

She shrugged, casting her gaze to the floor. "No no," he reprimanded, stepping close to her and lifting her chin so they were looking into each others' eyes. "Just tell me what's wrong, and why that letter's here."

A sigh of defeat escaped her lips as she raised a hand to his face, resting it on his cheek briefly before letting it drop. "It's just..." she trailed off, shaking her head slowly as his arm made its way around her waist. "You can't do that,' she said, pushing his arm off of her and stepping back.

He frowned in confusion and tilted his head to the side. "Why not? You're my girlfriend, shouldn't I be allowed to hold you?" he asked, stepping closer to her until she raised her hand up between them.

"Beck, I said _stop_," she told him coolly, folding her arms across her chest and flicking her head in the direction of the door. "You should probably go. I still have a lot to do, and I'm pretty sure you do too."

"But Jade-" he started, but she cut him off by firmly pressing her hand to his mouth.

"For the love of God, Beckett, just _leave_," she snapped, but her tone began to quiver ever so slightly as she pushed him away when he tried to go close to her. "I need some time to be alone. I'll see you at school."

He let out a heavy sigh, leaning forward to plant a kiss on her pouty lips, but at the last moment she turned her head so it ended up landing on her cheek instead. "I'll see you," he replied emotionlessly, the door slamming shut with a resounding _thud_ that echoed throughout the room.

She closed her eyes for a few moments before picking up the discarded letter off of the floor and grabbing the letter from her mother off the night-table as well. _Jadelyn_, she read, hoping this time the letter would be different. _Your__ Aunt Susan has been getting progressively worse. But I'm at work during the night, so I would need someone to look after her during that time. I've talked it over with your father, and he agreed that it would be for the best for you to move out here with me. I have everything prepared for you here anyways, so you wouldn't have to worry about packing. If the school accepts you, then you will be transferring after Spring Break. You may go back to your father's to spend the summer, but it would be for the best if you came to live here permanently. -Your mother_

Jade looked over at the pile of broken scissors and cut up lays, decorated with the shards of the DVD case that once held her favorite movie. "How am I supposed to tell Beck and Cat?" she wondered out loud as she walked back to the windowsill, staring at the street full of dying lights.

**Good? Bad? Drop a review and tell me what you thought.**

**-backwards wonderland**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So, I changed the title from** _The Life I Never Asked For _**to **_All the Pandemonium and All the_ _Madness_**. I thought it made more sense with the plotline. Anyways, I'm gonna aim to update this about once every two to three weeks. Ideas/comments help me come up with another chapter though** _(bade: I'll try to make Bade endgame, bu t I'm not sure about the middle of the story||angela: thanks and I'll keep that in min d in the next few chapters)_

**Disclaimer: Note how this is on a website called fanfiction, proving, that I am a fan of the show, and not the owner of it.  
**

**Chapter 2**

Cat woke up to the wailing of the baby i n the room beside her. The fact that the walls were paper-thin didn't help, especially since Tony had been born and wouldn't stop crying. And _of course_ she would take care of him and Nathan, because she was _oh-so-grateful_ that Walter and Pearl had decided to take in such a _burden_ like her.

She opened her bleary eyes and gazed at the sickly yellow of the walls that contrasted so sharply with the cotton candy of her old room of the house they had s old when they had taken her brother to the mental hospital. Pushing the thread bar e covers off her body, she opened the door and entered Tony's room. He stopped crying when he saw her, bloodshot eyes widening as he looked at his cousin .

Carefully, she lifted him out of his crib and checked his diaper. But it was clean, and he didn't seem hungry, so maybe he had just been lonely, she decided after a few moments. A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she exited the room and rapped her knuckles on the door of Nathan's room. "Wake u p!" she called out in a cheery voice that sounded too strained.

He didn't respond, and a few minutes later, she opened the door to find a note on the bed informing her that Walter had already dropped him off on his way to work, and Pearl had an early appointment, so if she better drop Tony off at the babysitter's. "Lovely," she mumbled sarcastically, leaving the child in his playpen as she left to get ready for school.

She went to her closet and threw together an outfit while rehearsing how she would act that day. "One time, my brother tried to jump down a rabbit hole because he could go to wonderland," she giggled i n her 'cheery' voice before sobering up quickly. "But then the doctors took him aw ay from us because he had some 'minor in juries' in his head. He's seriously messed up now."

Cat smiled brightly in the mirror, twirling around in a little circle and laughed like she didn't have a care in the world. "Yeah, everything's just swell," she remarked to invisible people as she twisted her flaming red hair around her fingers. "Nothing to worry about."

The smile dropped from her face as she looked into the mirror, a frown tugging t he corners of her lips downwards as sh e walked out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her. She scooped Tony up into her arms as she slipped her bag onto her shoulders, looking down at his face. "Be good," she muttered to him, walking across the street to the babysitter's place.

The red-haired girl remembered to plaster a bright smile on her face as she rapped her knuckles on the door. _Smile,_ she scolded herself internally. _There's a reason you're in acting, and it's practice for when you go to school. _"Miss Taylor?" she called out in her (painfully) cheery voice as she checked the time. If the woman didn't open the door , she'd be late for class (again).

Thankfully, she didn't have to wait for long, because a few minutes later, the husband of the babysitter stepped outside. "Caterina," he said in a surprised tone, raising an eyebrow slightly. "I wasn't expecting to see you here at this time. Don't you have school."

The girl shrugged, letting out a girlish giggle before handing the baby over to the man in front of her. "Uncle Walter had a business meeting, so I couldn't stay with the baby," she explained hurriedly, twisting a strand of flaming red hair around her finger. "But I've got a few-"

"Run along," he interjected, cradling Tony close as he looked at her over the rims of his glasses. "Wouldn't want you to be late now, would we? It's a very good school. You wouldn't want to get expelled again."

Cat swallowed a lump in her throat as she let out an airy "Kay, bye!" before turning around and hurrying to the subway station. Her heart pounded in her ears as she dropped the token into the box before pushing through the turnstile. _How does he know about what happened in Westwood?_ she thought to herself nervously, avoiding eye contact with the other passengers.

Her fingers curled around her purse strap as she sank into the seat, pulling out her PearPhone and checking the time. _Thanks Walter, first you go on telling the neighbors that I got expelled from my last school, and now you've also made me later for class,_ she thought as she stared out the window at the tress whirring by. _I mean that wasn't-wait, I can't think of that. I've got to think of the happier side of life, or else my friends'll know something's up. Think puppies, rainbows, butterflies, sunshine..._

By the time those subway doors opened, you would've never thought that _Caterina Valentine_ had been thinking of anything dreary or morbid. Just like the city that she had lived in her entire life, there wasn't an ounce of honesty or authenticity in her smile.

* * *

Jade showed up to class a few moments before the bell rang. Her eyes searched the room for the petite red-haired girl but found only the curly haired boy with his puppet, the Latina, the pianist and her boyfriend. "Damnit," she grumbled to herself as the teacher crawled in through the window.

"Jade, why don't you have a seat?" Sikowitz asked when he noticed her standing at the door. "You're blocking the door for any other lost young soul to come in and realize that this isn't the class they're looking for."

"I'll do what I want," she snapped, folding her arms across her chest and narrowing her eyes at the man as he sipped the milk out of his coconut. "And it's not Hawaii, lose the coconut."

"Jade," her boyfriend hissed when their acting teacher looked at the girl, capturing the brunette's attention for a brief moment before she rolled her eyes and plunked down in the seat next to him. "What's up with you? You've been acting strange for the past few weeks."

"Why do you care?" she grumbled, leaning into the back of the chair and gripping the letter from the previous night in her hand. She had been up most of the previous night trying to think of ways to tell him that she was leaving without ruining what they had._  
_

The male sighed in defeat, taking his girlfriend's hand in his and looking over at her. "Alright," he mumbled as the teacher called for two of the other students to go up and perform something. "But if you want to talk-"

"I don't," she interrupted curtly, her eyes falling to their intertwined fingers resting on her lap. The words she had to tell him were lodged in her throat, but no matter how much she knew she needed to say them, they wouldn't make it past her pale pink lips. "Beck.."

His eyes focused on hers as he gently squeezed her fingers. "Yeah babe?" he asked gently, looking at her with an expression she knew too well. He was trying to see through her, but was unsatisfied with the results.

"We..." her voice only trembled for a moment, but she knew he had picked it up. She cleared her voice quickly, gazing at the Canadian boy with a cold and calculating expression before focusing on the front. "We need to talk, Oliver."

He started to say something, but at that moment, the barefoot acting teacher called on the girl. "Jade," he called, out, gesturing for her to make her way onto the stage next to Robbie and Andre. "Hurry it up, we don't have all day!"

"Whatever," she snapped, yanking her hand out of her boyfriend's, relieved that she wouldn't be having that discussion with him right then and there. "Just tell us what the scene is already."

The older man shrugged, taking a long sip from his coconut while tapping his foot on the stage. "Oh!" he exclaimed, as if he just thought of a brilliant idea. "Do all of you have your scripts yet?"

"Which one?" the curly-haired boy standing next to her asked, scratching the back of his neck. "The only ones we have are the Shakespearean plays, which we already did a few months ago."

"We did?" Sikowitz asked in a surprised voice, as though this had been the first he'd heard of it. "Well in that case, you three can sit down. I need to speak to Eli, Jason and Beck then."

Jade walked off the stage promptly, looking over at the door expectantly when she noticed that her best friend wasn't there. Though she hated to admit it, she really cared about the red-head, considering the fact that they were both girls from the bad part of town and that they grew up together.

She pulled out her PearPhone out of her pocket just to make sure nothing had happened to her friend. _Where are you? Class started a while ago. Did Walter do something, or are you just running late? Text me back when you get this,_ she wrote, sending the message and ignoring her boyfriend when he sat back down next to her.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and took her hand in his. "You okay?" he asked, looking into the icy pools that were the eyes of his girl. "And was there something you wanted to tell me?"

_No, I'm definitely not alright, and yeah, I need to tell you that I'm leaving the school in a few weeks. _"Yeah, I'm fine," she responded, the corners of her lips lifting upwards into a small smile. "It alright if I stay over tonight? I can't seem to concentrate on anything when I'm not at home."

"Sure," he responded, shrugging slightly and smiling a little in her direction. "I'll meet you at your locker after last period. We can drive over to your house if you want to pick up _The Scissoring_ or something."

She shook her head (a little too quickly) and frowned slightly. "It's broken, remember? Anyways, I don't wanna go there. At least in your RV we have _some _privacy," Jade replied, her free hand resting on his leg as she looked up at him. "And I thought we could do something other than watch a movie."

A small smirk played on his lips as he leaned over and pressed a kiss onto her cheek. "Whatever you want," Beck responded, covering her hand with his and stroked the back of her hand with his thumb.

She nodded slightly, her eyes tearing away from his as she looked down at her bag. _I may as well tell him later,_ she thought to herself. _As long as he doesn't come to my house anymore. Richard was just a little too enthusiastic to start packing up my stuff, and so was Susan. _

She knew she couldn't hide it from him forever, and soon enough she'd have to tell him the truth. But right now, she could only keep him in the dark. Girls from _that_ side of town were never the most straight-forward or honest. And Jadelyn West was no exception.

* * *

**Alright, that was crappy, and more filler than anything else. But anyways, I've been busy with other things as well, but I'll try to work harder on this. Drop a review and tell me what you think? Ideas are always appreciated.**

**-backwards wonderland**


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